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Don't Fence Me In

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I want to ride through the wide open country that I love
Don't Fence Me In....yada, yada, yada.

I'm emotional. I'll admit it. I am living in a an absolutely gorgeous place and I love it here. I do. BUT I WANT TO GO HOME!!! Just a week, okay two. But I can't. I'm an ingrate. I have worked forever to get Ellyn's programs in place and now I have to be responsible and I resent it.

Yesterday I told Mike how much I was missing Washington and my mom and my sisters and my dad and he told me I should go home. He said he had so much homework he was not going to be able to be much company and I should just go. I told him my problem. Jane doesn't get home till Tuesday then Monday she leaves for Girls' Camp and then the week after I have to be in charge of the Young Women's activity and the lesson while our Pres. has family in town, our counselor is out of town, and another is due on Aug. 2nd. Then school starts. Suddenly it came to me. I could leave RIGHT THEN! Throw clothes in a suitcase, throw kids in the car, give my husband kisses and drive away. Jane would absolutely love another few days and we could drive home on Saturday. I could see myself driving through sunny Eugene. I could see the happy faces of Meagan and mom and the kids as we pulled in the driveway at mom's. I could feel the cool water of Battleground Lake and Lake Merwin, I could smell mom's french toast, I could taste Cory's mom's blueberries, feel the warmth of the sun as I sat beside Lewisville River. I was so excited, positively thrilled. And then Mike asked...

"What about Ellyn's tutor?"

I felt the bars come crashing down around me. Thick metal bars. I couldn't just leave without any notice. She needed at least a couple of week's notice to pick up sub spots. This was her summer job while she is in college. There was no way around it. Okay, Ellyn needed it too. I need to be here at home.

So no Washington this summer, maybe October. I am trying not to be bitter. I have a beautiful home, I have beautiful kids and a beautiful husband. My Jane will be home soon. That will make a difference. Life is good in Washington AND here. I mean, really, I do my runs along the beach at sunset or in the morning with the misty fog. It's all good.

Comments

Darla said…
So hard..there's nothing quite like WA in the summer (and your wonderful fam, of course). I'm sorry, Brooke! Isn't it hard being responsible?!!
July 20, 2009 at 8:36 PM
Lisa said…
I feel so sorry for you, stuck in ugly California. I hope you survive somehow.
July 20, 2009 at 11:23 PM
Brooke said…
Hey Lisa, shut it. I love you Darla.
July 21, 2009 at 12:57 AM
Mindi said…
I hear you. I read Meagan's post about all that swimming in lakes and what not and boy oh boy did I want to be up there.
July 23, 2009 at 5:26 AM
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