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National Coming Out Day, October 11, 2020

 Her hands.  That is what I remember most about the night my daughter came out.  The twisting, the uncontrolled trembling, the clenching and the unclenching of those long white fingers.  My precious, terrified daughter, ashamed, her eyes never quite reaching mine, as she “confessed” to me that she was gay.  This, despite never having acted on her feelings.  This, knowing how much we loved and supported our nephew, and one of her closest friends.  This, because of all she had heard and been taught.   This, is where my journey to truly understand began, the sleepless nights, the prayers, the research, the shifting of so much that I thought I knew.


Every day I am grateful for this beautiful soul in my life.  If my Sadie has to live bravely, every day, to love and to be her true self, as her mother, so do I.  

What you don’t realize right away, is that at some point parents come out too.  What is the message that they give to their children, grown or not, to their extended family and friends, and to those that are watching, hoping, that they will someday have the courage to come out?  

My message is this.  You are loved.  You are not a mistake.  You are of infinite worth.

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