"Baby Ellie" as all her sweet little cousins (most of them younger) call her, turned 6 this year on Valentine's Day. I can't believe it. I have a tall gangly girl with three loose teeth and no more baby fat, except maybe in those sweet, edible cheeks. Ellie's birthday is always an emotional time for me. It is a time for assessments in school, a time for recognizing where Ellyn is, developmentally. We meet every year, the week before her birthday. It is an exact age very much in the forefront of my thoughts and it seems to me that I look around and every little kid I see is Ellyn's same age.
On the one hand it is difficult for me to see where Ellyn should have been. There are those sad "what if" moments. I see what Ellyn's life could have been, how carefree and independent my six year old daughter would be. I wonder what sort of interests she would have had, what it would be like to have an energetic little kindergartner sprinting off the school bus, eating lunch with her friends, playing soccer, dressing up, helping to clear the dining room table after dinner. Snapshots of an alternate life, a life without the effects of autism.
At the same time, each birthday I am grateful. We are so blessed. Every year Ellyn has progressed, she has developed, she has mastered new skills. Every year I go to these meetings and listen to everyone describe to me what a loving and beautiful child I have been given. Of course I already know that, but I am amazed by how many lives my little girl has touched. Ellyn is such an incredible blessing in our home. Each of us are better people because of her. There is less arguing (she becomes upset when she senses anger), more music, more patience and self sacrificing, more snuggles and laughter. Her presence in our home creates an atmosphere of love and tolerance, for each other and for those that visit. I just wish that our blessings did not have to come through her burden. She has sacrificed much for our progression. I know how much my Heavenly Father must love her and I greatly anticipate the day when all the hardships that my living angel has suffered will be removed and she will be perfected. She will run, she will speak, think, move, just as she freely as anyone. At times it is with great difficulty that I remind myself that this life is but a moment. I do not doubt however, that the Lord watches over us, that He gives us only what we are able to withstand, and that He is our constant companion as we endeavor to meet life's challenges. I know that the blessings my Ellyn will receive will be beyond anything I could possibly imagine. I know that having Ellyn in our home is literally having a little piece of Heaven here on earth.
So... I wanted to share pics from Ellyn's birthday party. It really was a very special night, a neat experience for all of us. First of all, Meagie, Wil, and Hazey May got to be here. Second, my running buddy, Beth, volunteered to utilize her newly acquired cake decorating skills to make Ellie's cake. Third, Beth and my friend Jen were so sweet and concerned over what they might give Ellyn for her birthday that Ellyn would use and love. It was very touching. Check out the beautiful cake modeled by the gorgeous Beth.
Singing "Happy Birthday" and blowing out the candles was very exciting. Ellyn was very much aware that we (16 of us) were singing to HER. She looked around the table with huge smiles the entire song and then.... SHE BLEW OUT HER CANDLE ALL BY HERSELF!!!! It was AWESOME!
Colin, Beth's son, was so thoughtful. He gathered all of the kids together and we played "Ring Around the Rosies." Ellyn's very favorite activity. I know that Ellyn felt loved on her big day. I know it was special for her, and for each of us. We are so blessed, beautiful daughter/sister, wonderful family, great friends. Blessed.
The End
On the one hand it is difficult for me to see where Ellyn should have been. There are those sad "what if" moments. I see what Ellyn's life could have been, how carefree and independent my six year old daughter would be. I wonder what sort of interests she would have had, what it would be like to have an energetic little kindergartner sprinting off the school bus, eating lunch with her friends, playing soccer, dressing up, helping to clear the dining room table after dinner. Snapshots of an alternate life, a life without the effects of autism.
At the same time, each birthday I am grateful. We are so blessed. Every year Ellyn has progressed, she has developed, she has mastered new skills. Every year I go to these meetings and listen to everyone describe to me what a loving and beautiful child I have been given. Of course I already know that, but I am amazed by how many lives my little girl has touched. Ellyn is such an incredible blessing in our home. Each of us are better people because of her. There is less arguing (she becomes upset when she senses anger), more music, more patience and self sacrificing, more snuggles and laughter. Her presence in our home creates an atmosphere of love and tolerance, for each other and for those that visit. I just wish that our blessings did not have to come through her burden. She has sacrificed much for our progression. I know how much my Heavenly Father must love her and I greatly anticipate the day when all the hardships that my living angel has suffered will be removed and she will be perfected. She will run, she will speak, think, move, just as she freely as anyone. At times it is with great difficulty that I remind myself that this life is but a moment. I do not doubt however, that the Lord watches over us, that He gives us only what we are able to withstand, and that He is our constant companion as we endeavor to meet life's challenges. I know that the blessings my Ellyn will receive will be beyond anything I could possibly imagine. I know that having Ellyn in our home is literally having a little piece of Heaven here on earth.
So... I wanted to share pics from Ellyn's birthday party. It really was a very special night, a neat experience for all of us. First of all, Meagie, Wil, and Hazey May got to be here. Second, my running buddy, Beth, volunteered to utilize her newly acquired cake decorating skills to make Ellie's cake. Third, Beth and my friend Jen were so sweet and concerned over what they might give Ellyn for her birthday that Ellyn would use and love. It was very touching. Check out the beautiful cake modeled by the gorgeous Beth.
Singing "Happy Birthday" and blowing out the candles was very exciting. Ellyn was very much aware that we (16 of us) were singing to HER. She looked around the table with huge smiles the entire song and then.... SHE BLEW OUT HER CANDLE ALL BY HERSELF!!!! It was AWESOME!
Colin, Beth's son, was so thoughtful. He gathered all of the kids together and we played "Ring Around the Rosies." Ellyn's very favorite activity. I know that Ellyn felt loved on her big day. I know it was special for her, and for each of us. We are so blessed, beautiful daughter/sister, wonderful family, great friends. Blessed.
The End
Comments
Buffy
She does look so grownup...and it is good to remember the eternal perspective. What a gift it is to know about eternal life!
Love,
Barb
It's been too long that I've been on here. What a sweet tribute to Elly. It makes me sad to think that we are so far away and that my kids and Geof. and I don't know her (and the rest of their cousins) well. ); However, this comment is not about me.., but you and what a wonderful mother/wife/friend you are. We love you!! And Elly!! Oh, and thank you for posting a pic of Meags. I actually had to click on it so I could see her in the background.