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Whatever

Yesterday morning I received a text from my husband. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something to the effect of "are we done looking at that burnt up, nasty, vegetable encrusted skillet yet?". I suggested that he should perhaps, write on the blog. He told me he had essays to write on Obama's speech to the Westpoint graduates in 20... Yada yada yada. Whatever.

I did not foresee a time between now and the 3rd of January in which I could post anything to the blog. Until... Jane's band teacher asked that all students be 40 minutes early to their Winter Concert. Really?

I wanted to text with my husband, since we never have time, but Mike is using the ever so lame, "I have to write an essay" excuse again and so I sit here, blogging. I have read all valid tweets to keep me abreast of the daily news and now the guilt has set in.

Let me begin by saying we had such a wonderful Thanksgiving. I have pictures and will post that another day. In fact, it is already partly posted, saved, if you will.

Quality of life has deteriorated since that time, just turning a corner yesterday actually. Something has been wrong with our Ellyn. I cannot tell you what, I wish I knew. I'm not going into details but the girl has been extremely upset and angry, she has also not been sleeping.  It is the most frustrating and helpless feeling in the world to know your child is suffering and unhappy and you don't know how to fix it.  I look into her little, sad face and beg for insight. It just doesn't seem fair that she should ever have to endure anything beyond what autism gives her to endure every day.

We have all sorts of theories, we have been to the doctor, we have been on the phone with the doctor, we have another appointment with the doctor.  I have been praying fervent prayers, at long last Ellie seems to be returning to her normal self.  We are still going to the doctor tomorrow, to discuss what has been going on.  I don't know if there is an answer we will ever know.

It is now Thursday morning.  Ellyn is happy today.  She woke up happy, even if it was at 4 am, and she has stayed calm and relaxed all morning.  I just put her on the bus with a big smile on her face.  We will still go to her appt. this afternoon, because if I don't I know all of the symptoms will return.

Jane did a lovely job in her concert last night, which by the way, was the most bizarre school concert I have ever attended.  It included a slide show of the pottery and art class' projects, a ten minute skit by the drama department, and a sing along of Christmas carols at the end.  Kudos, I guess, for recognizing all of the arts.  And yet...

I cried twice in the concert.  I have issues.  The first tear episode was watching a teen age girl that obviously had autism or another learning disability singing with Jane's choir.  You could see how much she loved the music, she was darling and sang all the words and did all the actions.  A few little Ellyn like movements attracted my eye but there might be many that didn't even notice, not that it matters.  I wondered if some day Ellyn will be able to participate in school activities.  I hope so!  The second time I cried was watching the band play.  There were all the girls lined up with their shining flutes, but not my Jane.  It made me a little sad.  I am really hoping that now that Jane is winding up driver's ed. and we have an idea of what her after school life consists of, we will be able to start flute lessons with a private instructor.  I have to call him and see if he still has room.  Jane loves choir though, and she has a very pretty voice.  She doesn't sing around the family very often but I enjoy it when she does.

I have to go now.  I have a list a mile long of the things I want to get done before Mike returns on Saturday.  Unfortunately, with as busy as this week has been, I need to add several more housekeeping catch up tasks to the end of that extremely long agenda.

I pray that this Christmas season we have plenty of time to fully appreciate and enjoy the holiday and that we have quiet moments to contemplate the birth of our Savior and be grateful for his gift to each of us.


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Comments

Darla said…
I'm so glad Ellyn is feeling better, Brooke! So hard! I remember watching a girl who had cerebral palsy when we were first married who would cry out and couldn't communicate her needs. It was so sad. I remember just laying with her and praying. I won't ask you about this, because I don't want you to ever feel pressured to look into it..but once again, I'll send this link to the program my sister does with her son-and she's seen remarkable results. But of course, it IS work (and money). Love you, Brookie! http://nacd.org/

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